I Broke My Finger – ugh

July 27, 2019

On Sunday I went on a trail ride and at the 10 mile mark, with two miles to go, I got my rein wrapped around my left ring finger. I pulled hard on the rein to get Simon back out of brush and onto the trail and the rein slid over the end of my finger and I felt the end of my finger snap. Crap.

I knew instantly. I quickly grabbed my phone out and was lucky I had service. I called my husband, Rich, who jumped in his truck to meet me at the trail head. Of course while he was driving he lectured me over the phone about riding alone, how much water did I have with me, was I on too long of a ride, and so on, but he showed up and met me at the busy road crossing to the parking lot.

Disclosure: there is vulgar language in this video clip.

Note: I am horrible at videoing and tend to think I hit record when I didn’t and then actually hit record when I want to stop.

On this ride I had been attempting to tape a little clip for my trail report blog post and apparently hit record instead of stop and had my phone in my hand (recording for a solid five minutes) when I broke my finger. You can’t see anything but you can hear my reaction.

Luckily the two miles I had to ride back were easy trail. Simon was also quite aware something was wrong and was perfect. I carried my hand up in the air, mostly resting it over my helmet to help keep it from swelling as much. I did find that deer flies took to landing only on that hand and now I have quite a few bites. I am not sure if this is because my hand was in the air above the rest of me or if they sensed with their evil fly senses that this hand was compromised and they should attack.

The parking is on the side of a mountain which rt211 passes over, and the trail head is across the road. It’s a relatively blind crossing and I lead my dog and pony across, one in each hand. In my compromised state I wasn’t sure how I was going to dismount without hurting my hand. I also wasn’t sure how I was going to lead them both across the road with one hand. Luckily I only had to wait a few minutes. Rich pulled up and came over and got Daisy and led her back to my rig. Then he helped me get off, which wasn’t nearly so challenging as I thought it would be, I basically just jumped off.

Rich was a champ and held Simon while I unsnapped everything and then he pulled my tack off and loaded up Simon and then my tack into the trailer and finally put a confused and upset Daisy into my truck.

I grabbed a few things and hopped in Rich’s truck and he climbed in mine and off we went. He took Simon and Daisy home and took care of them while I drove myself to Urgent care in Harrisonburg (I wonder why there is no Urgent care north of Harrisonburg until you reach Winchester). I continued to keep my hand up in the air, when I wasn’t changing gears, and I got a lot of waives so I assume people thought I was waiving at them.

On the way to urgent care I decided my finger was probably just popped out of socket and they would just pop it back in and I would be as good as new. Wishful thinking.

They took X-rays and sure enough, the end of my fourth finger showed a break even I could see on the X-ray. They put a splint on it and sent me home with instructions to see an orthopedic surgeon and I may take Tylenol for the pain.

Monday my finger showed minor swelling and some purpling. And I made an appointment for Tuesday with an orthopedic.

of course, I kept my team in the loop through all of it.

Tuesday I went to the RMH Sentara Orthopedics Center. I explained what happened at check in and was told, “oh the doctor is a horse person, this will be a good one for her”.

When the doctor came in she said, “so I hear you had a riding accident”. I said yes. “And I suppose you need to be back on your horse right away”. I laughed, yep.

My understanding is that the end of fingers is made of softer bone and it breaks more easily. It also gets limited blood flow and there is not too much they can do for it.

She advised me to take it easy on it because “I assume you have an important show coming up soon” and that I would want to be in as good of condition as I can for it. I should expect it to hurt for a few weeks and it could show swelling for up to a year. Crazy right?

They gave me a smaller splint and I was told I could wrap it in vetwrap.

On Wednesday (so three days after the break) I decided I needed to ride Possum and see how my finger held up. Getting on sucked. Surprisingly I didn’t think about it much, which is my normal down fall with mounting, over thinking it, and I just got on. And I smashed my finger in the process. That hurt. Holding my reins was awkward, as expected. And I was really wishing Possum had a solid neck rein (it’s coming) but all in all it was doable.

Although I took a Tylenol early in the morning, I did not have any pain meds in my system by the time I rode at 730 in the evening and it wasn’t too bad.

So I need to take it easy so I am at my best for MGAA Nationals in just over two weeks. And really my finger is not that swollen or bruised and it doesn’t really hurt unless I hit it on something.

Bottom line – I got this.

Trail Report: New Market

June 26, 2019

Sunday was gorgeous and I decided sort of on a whim to run out and go on a quickish ride. I followed the highlighted trail in the image below.

This is a trail I have messed around on, checking out side trails before but never really took on the loop. I admit I did not think too much about it and just dove at the opportunity to check out some new trails. I did not realize the loop was 12 miles or how challenging it would be.

Parking: For this ride I parked at the paved lot on the side of rt211 on the east side of the mountain. After racking up I crossed over rt211, Simon in one hand and Daisy on a leash in the other. On the other side is a pass between two hills. There is a closed fire gate with a little wooden foot bridge over the gutter on the side of the gate. I let Daisy off her leash but kept her with me until after this point and then climbed on Simon.

This is trail 410 and this part of the trail is really nice. It’s wide and clear and a bit rolling. It’s a good area to move out.

On this ride there was a section that smelled strongly of skunk. And later Daisy pointed out a turtle.

Eventually the trail makes a left hand turn, following the white blaze. Shortly before the two mile mark the smooth trail of 410 turns into more of a mountain track. And shortly after that this trail comes to a three way junction and orange blaze of Massanutten trail 408.

I took the right hand track into Massanutten Trail 408 (note how unhelpful the trail signs vs the trail map are at matching up). It is a decent although challenging hiking trail. And I checked the map that it is a multi use trail and open to horses. It is. I consider this portion of the trail to be a much more advanced riding trail. Some portions were narrow with drop offs and with an abundance of knee knockers, often at the narrowest points. There were some big jump ups and some extended climbs to navigate. Simon’s a good little climber and he kept his footing nicely on the narrow sections.

There was one point during an uphill climb that the trail passed over some boulders. I dismounted and climbed over using my hands and feet and Simon climbed along behind me playing the part of a billy goat. I wish I could have gotten a photo or better yet, a video of him navigating this section but my hands were way too busy. I would not consider this portion of the trail equine friendly at all and I did not see anyway to work around it. The Boulder section was probably a good 60 feet long to navigate.

The trail climbed and eventually we came to a left hand turn in the trail and on and up we went. By this point I was debating turning around. This was turning into a longer ride than I was prepared for. But with all the uphill and challenging sections I decided going back would be even harder.

Onward! And finally the trail came to a four way intersection. I admit I sighed in relief. I spent a moment comparing my map to my GPS to the trail signs and decided I was where I thought I was and I needed to make a hard left onto 555 Scothorn Gap Trail. And that yep, this trail was longer than Simon, Daisy, or I should be taking on.

I also met some people out on a hike. We stopped and chatted and compared what to expect ahead. They were hoping to find an amazing view or something of note. I thought of them miles later when I came across some memorable views.

I headed on 555 which was generally down hill but not too steeply. It was a wider, simpler trail. There was older burn to the right as I went down which opened to some ok views. Eventually the trail ended at a creek and to a small parking area off Crisman.

I made a left and rode along Crisman for way too long. I got off and hiked for a bit. But the road just seemed to never end. Finally I came to 408 Massanutten Trail and bore left off of Crisman. The initial part of the trail through here is amazing. It’s somewhat narrow but surrounded on both sides by bushes and wild blueberries.

This loveliness ends abruptly in a steep down hill climb. I dismounted here, and wishing I had on my riding sneakers vs my smooth bottomed riding boots, I clambered down the mountain, using tree branches to help me down. Meanwhile Simon bill-goated along behind me, munching on leaves.

This downhill seemed to go on forever and took forever. When we finally made it down the mountain it rolled right out at the split closing the loop. Ah, just little over two miles to go and after a very brief climb it would be easy trail too. Again I sighed in relief.

I made a right onto 410 the Massanutten connector trail (note again no match up in names and numbers from trail map to trail sign) and hit the homeward stretch. Coming up from the split and just about creating the final small climb Simon smashed off trail and into the some briars. He loves to run through underbrush to scratch his belly and this often runs me into briars. Which it did, I yelled at him and yanked him back over to the trail. Unfortunately the rein wrapped around my ring finger on my left hand and I felt a snap.

Yep, I broke my finger.

Let me finish this report up by stating that I had about two miles left to go and luckily I had cell reception and my loving husband picked up when I called and rushed out to meet me at the trail head. I’ll detail the finger on my next post.

The ride was grueling and a real work out. I am glad I went the direction on the loop I did, and wouldn’t recommend the other direction. I wouldn’t have been comfortable on a different pony either. And it’s also not a trail I am excited to go try again. I would like to check out some of the ones down Crisman though.

Obstacle Play Day at Home

June 25, 2019

A couple Rogue team members are doing a JPR next weekend and I want to take Possum to give him a change in environment and job.  In preparation I set up some scary things at home to school through on Saturday. I started on the ground, introducing him, and then mounted up.  

I put down a smallish tarp which he was a bit apprehensive of. Tarps are not something he is comfortable with. But after looking at it and sniffing it he lead over it nicely.  Later we rode over it several times nicely ae well.  Score.  

 

I also have a tractor tire that he has walked through previously. He didn’t blink and eye at it and walked through both lead and mounted without batting an eye.  He is a smart pony and doesn’t usually take much to get accustomed to new things.  And once he has accepted something he is generally solid with it.

I drug out and set up a baby pool. I didn’t have anything simple and non messy to put in it and wasn’t too sure what I planned to do with it. So I led Possum over to it with no real expectations and let him check it out. He was nervous but also curious. He pushed it with his nose and pawed at it with his hoof. I stepped into it, making lots of noise, he tended but then moved back in and stepped into it with his front hooves. When I stepped out he stepped all the way in and sniffed all around it. I allowed him to step around in it a bit on his own. He spooked himself stepping back out but was happy to turn back around and investigate it some more.

I initially did not intend to walk him into the pool so I had no intention of riding him through it.

Pool noodles proved to be a challenge at the Obstacle fun day I took Possum to a few weeks back with Heather and Joan. He seemed to process and generally accept them after some time but he never fully relaxed with them. This is the first he has seen them since then and although he smelled them and pushed one with his nose he then marched on through them. When I rode through them, he actually stopped in the middle and stood quietly on his own for s moment and then reached back for a treat. This pony can be reached through his belly.

I set up a gate using a rope and two jump standards. We rode through this smoothly, using one hand on the rope and one on the rein like Possum knew what he was doing.

Finally I set up a flashy version of three pole mug shuffle. On the first pole I taped aluminum chafing pans. There was a minor breeze and lots of sun so they wiggled and reflected light. Possum gave these a healthy inspection but not showing any fear, just interest. On the second pole I taped four pin wheels. These also reflected some light and of course spin with the breeze. Just like with the first pole, Possum checked them out, liberally nosing them but other than interest he showed no care. At the third pole I attached a string and ran it to a super tall cone. The string had pompon like streamers hanging from it. Possum was interested, but just like the previous two poles he was simply curious.

I mounted up and shuffled a mug back and forth and around the three poles. Possum did want to push the trinkets around with his nose, such a curious pony, but we shuffled like professionals.

He was such a brave boy

Guest Blogger – Mid-Atlantic Pairs #1, June 2019

June 19, 2019

Guest Blogger Val Hoke on her ride at Mid-Atlantic Pairs #1.

Groppits made a return at the Pairs I competition this past weekend, hosted by Stacey Angelo. Groppits was a name that Jon and I came up with years ago when we first transferred out of open into O25, a decision based on the retirement of Jon’s games pony (Pony) and our wanting to train his new pony Jeeter in a division well known for staying in their own lanes (rather than intermediate, which, at the time, was unreliable on lane management).

True to form this year, I managed to get a few hours of sleep before the competition, having overbooked myself with three am & pm petsitting gigs, pairs, and three pony ride parties.  Two of the parties I would have employees handle (yay) for me, but the third was on me (not yay) as well as the feedings for the animals under my care.  Added to the fun mix was the unexpected need for travel papers due to a livestock show at the same location.  Of course, they are always required, but usually I gamble.  Luckily, I had a heads up and a great relationship with my vet, so we arranged to meet the on call track emergency vet in Charlestown at 7am (an hour before we were scheduled to ride). 

Rocking on with a 4am alarm, I managed to get everywhere I needed to in the morning, and Jon wrangled sleepy children into clothes and we pulled out of our house at 6:15; shockingly on time since Jeeter was surprised by our early arrival at the barn and allowed a quick catch.

First session we were scheduled to ride against Carly & Thomas, our fellow Gone Roguies teammate and last years sub at Nationals and a few others and Hot Minute (Krista and Leigh Anne), also a fellow Roguie and sub.  

I had gone into this competition after a rough one at MA3, so was not especially looking forward to starting every race again with Babyface, who, at MA3, starting spinning as soon as the equipment touched my hand.  This, paired with 8 lanes of set up, got us both angry and twitchy (and dizzy) by the time the race started.  I had planned on trying to trot things, but with Babyface and my own love for running, Jon just advised me to not push Babyface.

Our first session breakdown (in quick recap mode):
Bending: 3rd, I totally got in a face fight with Babyface and we shouldered over a pole.  This is where Jon told me to stop holding him back so much.  I know this, its always a thing, but apparently I need a regular reminder.
Association: 1st, Jon started with a silly stop lazy set, but Jeeter worked that QH butt and pulled some lovely turns and got back with time for me to get Babyface sorted.  He doesn’t care which direction he runs, so turning back after completing an action is never a problem.  This definitely helped us pull forward, plus Babyface remembered his barrel turns (something he forgot at MA3)
Hug A Mug: 1st, easy, smooth race.  
Tool Box: 1st, My initial set down definitely bought me time to mess around at the other end.  Babyface did a great stand, wait! For me, and my dunk was smooth.  Jon did his crazy stirrup while moving thing, and had time to pause and pick the box.  
Carton: 1st, Jon pointed out my pole was leaning towards C line, so with that I gave a slight check and an exaggerated pull to keep the pole up, Babyface did perfect low turns, I placed rather than tossed both cartons.  Again, having a pony willing to gallop in any direction came in handy.  Jon was chased by Carly/Thomas, but Jeeter’s large stride got us across first.
Litter: 2nd, I turned too tight on my first and skimmed over it, then did a stand correction with an inside turn to dunk and head back.  I turned too tight again, but did get the litter, but was not straight and Babyface’s head bopped my stick and knocked it off again.  Poop.  Jon had smooth two picks, but my mistakes gave Carly and Thomas the chance to take the win.
Pony Pairs: 1st, I started and picked up Jon.  Babyface had a good butt swing turn into Jeeter, who is a great wall to bounce off.  It was smooth from there since the ponies are such buddies.  Jon lets me ride two handed and neck reins through.  We discuss room throughout and the communication is very helpful.
Sock: 2nd, Jon started and missed his initial dunk.  Quick correction, and he was back fast. I was chasing LA, but unlikely to catch her, especially after I missed my initial dunk too (completely wiffed it!)  Babyface did stand for my mount, and I remembered to lean to dunk on the way home.
2 Flag: 1st: I don’t remember much from this one, but I probably started. Babyface must have gone straight for me! Jon must have gotten low for his put and pull.
We ended the first session with 25 points (which was the same as Full Tilt & Flying Rogues from the other session)  

After that session, I jumped on Angelina, the Peruvian Paso, and rode with Greg Honeycutt.  Angelina needs miles in games, and needs to remember that she doesn’t actually know everything and doesn’t control the rider.   We worked with all that, and I think by the end she had consigned herself to listening and maintaining her gait rather than trying to canter around everywhere.

Second Session was shuffled and we rode against Full Tilt and Hot Minute. We had a pretty clean sweep of the board, only getting second in Agility Aces, due to my slow  mount.  Other notable moments for us were Quiots, where Babyface gave me a perfect turn so I grabbed from the bucket, Sword where Jon took my terrible handoff and raced home, Hi Lo, where we both got our picks and mine I remembered to let Babyface go so he would straighten, and Canadian, where Jon’s polo past really comes in handy. We ended the session with 29 points, and the day with 54, in first by 2 points over Flying Rogues.

A Finals would be Groppits, Flying Rogues, and Full Tilt.

Finals was interesting.  Nobody really was “in comfortable charge” of the session, we were all pretty even throughout.  Quick recap of races:

Bending: 2nd, Jon had a weird squabble after his end turn with Jeeter and Carol Ann beat him home.
Bottle: 1st, Solid set by me, solid pick by Jon
Association: 3rd, This one was comically bad for Jon.  If it could go wrong, it did.  He got on and off at least 3 times.
Quoits: 3rd, Babyface turned too tight at the bucket so I couldn’t lean, I reset him for another turn and it was too wide. Had to dismount and grab the ring, so was dead last back, which was way too much time to make up.
Sword: 1st, great hand off, Jeeter stretched for the finish
Joust: 1st, our big, leggy ponies are no match for the 13 hand ponies
Ball and Cone: 2nd, I started, which isn’t something I usually do.  I tried to do an end turn style put down, but I pushed it a bit too hard trying to take the speed of Babyface’s turn out of it and knocked it off.  Quickish fix, and was back second.  Too much time for Jon to make up, so he played it smart.
Hula Hoop: 2nd, Jon held Babyface like a champ.  I forgot myself and held Jeeter when I should have let go and almost cost us 2nd.  Luckily Jon somehow did a running stirrup up (still not sure how that’s a thing)
3 Mug: 1st, Babyface had some really nice turns and some really odd butt swinging skitter turns. We worked it out and got back first but barely.  Jon was chased the whole time, but he went for the set and the others paused so he got the win.
3 Pot: 1st, We had to restart this one since my flags were clumped together.  After reset, it was a clean race. Leggy ponies for the win.
Sock: 1st, Both Jon and I concentrated on our dunks.  Jon had a great mount and was back first. I raced Full Tilt for the double dunk, but put some extra effort into my lean and really got down.
5 Flag: 2nd, I missed my end put, and even leggy ponies cant make that up in pairs! Jon had a great end pick.

We ended up in first with 28 points, followed by Flying Rogues with 23, and Full Tilt with 21.  I want to point out that Flying Rogues and Full Tilt were tied at the last game, so second and third was decided by 5 flag.  

All in all, I’m super proud of Babyface.  He was standing for the equipment set up, with me holding the equipment.  He was not relaxed, and I could feel  his heartbeat, but he was standing!  I think at Nationals I will have my team hold the equipment until it is time, or dismount and hold him.  Anything to get him to relax and not worry about when it is time to be running.  Jeeter was a champ, he gives Jon 100% and really tries hard for him, no matter the situation.  Love these ponies, and super proud of the Gone Rogue team, which was in attendance in full!

Mid-Atlantic Pairs Series #1 – June 2019

June 18, 2019

Some of my favorite mounted games events are the pairs competitions that MGAA member, Stacey hosts at the Jefferson County, WV Fairgrounds.  For this weekend’s event there I paired up with long time games friend, Leigh Anne, creating the pairs team, Hot Minute, for some laid back games fun. 

The weekend started out with a social Friday evening.  After setting up Possum in his stall I was able to chat with friends, and enjoy some camp time.  In the evening Matt, Leigh Anne and I went for Ledo’s Pizza and were to bed at a reasonable hour, respecting a 6am wake up time. 

Saturday morning we rode in the first heat of the day so we were tacked up and walking our ponies around nice and early.  Somehow I managed to take a spill during this *just walking* time frame.  I think I might have been trying to shift my saddle and I could have possible kicked Possum and he leaped forward in response.  Since I was already in a compromised position, off I went.  Nothing bad.  But still a bit of a shakeup.  Leigh Anne and I did get a good WTF laugh out of it.  I climbed back on and we warmed up.  Possum remained a little tense and didn’t work out of it like I was hoping.  This was not from my tumble, but was how he was from the moment I mounted up. 

The first session was rough.  Leigh Anne looked good but Possum was trying to buck, then he put his head up to avoid my hands.  I realized he was “bolting” with me.  But I don’t think he is aware of going fast yet, so it was more of a runaway lope.  I could still pull him up and or turn him, but it was very lacking in the control and precision I am used to.  It was very much a slow motion bolt.  Annoying.  He also was nervous in the equipment lane which wasn’t too out of the ordinary.  

After session one, Leigh Ann, Matt, and I were able to put our three geldings out in the little paddock for a bit.  As expected the three were too busy eating to care about each other.  This seemed to really help Possum.  He was much more relaxed when I mounted up for session two.  I also added a running martingale.  The combo of pony mental break and martingale seemed to go a long way.  In the first race he hit the martingale and was like “OH” and on we went.  He was so much more focused and ready to work as a team.  Perhaps he just needed a session to settle in, which is not too out of the ordinary for a new games pony, but he better start getting his game face on quicker. 

Leigh Anne rode very well again and Custer seemed to be happy after his lunch break.  She worked on his standing in the ring and made him stand for corrections and gave him a treat on the spot immediately afterwards.  Previously Custer tended to have his head in the way and would move almost sideways into hand offs making it much harder to connect.  Leigh Anne has worked to correct this and we really had some nice handoffs this weekend.  I also think all the dressage lessons she has been taking on him and all of the flat work is really paying off.  The pair showed improvement since the last time we rode on a team together, and Leigh Anne should be happy with the progress.     

After the final competition session on Saturday Brett hosted a clinic.  I decided to join in so that I could see if she had any suggestions for Possum and so he would get another riding session in the competition ring under his belt.  Brett asked us what we each wanted to work on and I asked for her to look at my association.  In competition I have found myself going slower that I do in practice. I tend to slow up because on occasion he bows away from the barrel, and with my hands so busy with the container going slower gives me more time to correct this.  But he also tends to leap forward right about when I get to placement point.  This is very common, and if I were a bit more gutsy like I used to be or perhaps if he necked reined I wouldn’t feel the need to check up as much.  We started the clinic with this and Brett suggested a very dramatic S turn so he can learn the pattern.  This is a common technique and I have no idea why I and none of my usual practice crew didn’t think of it.  On my second run with the dramatic S he was so much better and I felt comfortable and confident at it.  This right here made the clinic worth it. 

 

While the rest of the students worked on this skill I went over to the equipment lane and rode past, with Possum shying.  Then I allowed him to check everything out, sniffing and nudging with his nose.  When he was done I rewarded him with a treat and then rode past it all again at a trot.  I did this several times getting closer and faster until we were cantering past it just a foot or so away.  I continued to reward him.  I was pleased that this seemed to stick with him for our Sunday session.  He did not bow away in that lane and was not particularly looky.  To me this shows that he is smart and retaining what I am teaching him.  I just need to make a point of finding a way to get things across to him in a way he can truly absorb and retain.  

 

I took part in a little more of the clinic although the skills the other students requested were not things I needed to particularly work on and find new techniques for.  I’m pretty solid in my flag pulls and have learned ample techniques for it.  Same for litter picks.  I used to do a moving pick up but as I have grown older and rounder I have returned to the older standing pick method and feel pretty solid at it, assuming I lean enough.  Brett agreed with my techniques for both and I decided that Possum had had enough for the day and cut out.  I am very happy I took part.  There are always things to learn, and I am certainly not above it.  I have taken and watched clinics and or been coached by many of the world’s top trainers.  I always find something to absorb.  Even if it’s a technique that does not work for me at this time, it is still valuable and something that might work at a different time and or situation. 

 

After the riding was complete I joined Matt, Leigh Anne, and Carol Ann for some board games before the whole crew headed out for tacos and margaritas.  We ended up with a much larger group than I originally envisioned and I really enjoyed the time sitting and chatting.  Eventually we headed back to the grounds and a few of us walked just a few yards to the back of the campground and spectated at the tractor pull taking place there.  It was loud and entertaining for a short stint before bed.  

 

Sunday dawned and we repeated the early rise and warm up before riding into the ring as the first heat.  Leigh Anne and I were in the B final against two other pairs; Alice and Lindsey and the pair of Carly and Tommy.  Possum was really good in this session as well and a complete joy to ride.  He was agile and listened to me, no bucking or slow-mo bolting.  The only race he was problematic in was Hula Hoop, in which he reared away from Leigh Anne while I was in the most compromised of mounting positions.  I did not give us and did manage to get on, while yelling “STAND”!  I believe he wanted to back up and when he hit Leigh Anne’s hand his reaction was to rear.  I have found him to do this multiple times when he wants to get away from being held, or wants to back up.  This is something I am going to have to work on in practice with some friends.  It is completely unacceptable and needs to stop.  Jon and Val both pointed out that, yes he was rearing, and I did good to stick with it.  I needed that bit of confirmation and reassurance as I have admittedly not being feeling super self-assured with my progress with Possum.  And both mounting and rearing are both fear points for me. 

We finished in a healthy second behind Carly and Tommy, which I was pleased with.  Both Leigh Anne and I were there for training and fun and we both felt we got that out of the weekend.  Leigh Anne was super fun to ride with and I am very much looking forward to doing it again.  We laughed a lot and I felt we were both super “whatever” and also extremely encouraging of each other.